I recently learned that we are going to have a talking tree this Christmas.  I really like the idea.  No, this is not some kind of electronic device, it is just a Christmas tree.  Not some kind of plastic fake, nor one of those legendary aluminium Christmas trees.  I know I have heard tell that talking trees are not quite what most people have in their living rooms at Christmas, but why would anyone want to be average?  Besides, this is a normal-looking tree. 

Sort of.  

This is one of those old-fashioned wooden Christmas trees, but not the kind that has been trained in big tree schools, where they all learn to grow big, fluffy branches and sit quietly in someone’s living room once they have been sold.  No!  This is a tree that will be picked from our own forest where there is some competition, and where atheistic ideas are not taught.  I realise that even we didn’t have a talking tree last year, but this year we are going to have a real live talking tree right in our own living room, and it’s going to be a biblically-minded, doctrinally-sound, non-denominational tree, and it is going to be ten feet tall!

How about you?  Wouldn’t you like to have a real, live, ten-foot-tall, biblical-theology-teaching, non-denominational, sound-minded, quick-witted, non-evolutionary, highly-competitive, naturally-green-and-growing, old-fashioned, extra-ordinary, non-electronic, plastic-and-aluminum-free, genuine, no-nonsense, talking Christmas tree in your living room this year too?  Maybe you don’t know what you are missing out on.